Week 5 : The Test

What a week! I just found out I’m pregnant.

I thought I was just putting on weight! I’ve been feeling bloated for the last month, and as I’d just spent a week at home with my family, I thought it was a result of overindulging! Emotionally, I’d also been feeling off, though I put it to other things. Not in any way did I think I’d be pregnant! The reason I found out was that my period was overdue a week. Anytime my period is overdue a week, I do a pregnancy test, just to be sure. I didn’t think much of it and had also ‘checked in’ with myself ‘asking’ if I was pregnant, and the answer was a clear ‘no’! Well, was I wrong!

Saturday morning, I woke up, and did the test. I had to stare at the result over and over to ensure that I wasn’t still half asleep and my eyes were playing tricks on me. I thought perhaps if I left it for a few hours … maybe even a day, the result would change?

Several hours later, and the result was still the same.

Shocked!

Even though my husband and I had spoken about having children, the reality of it was unfathomable! I hadn’t thought it would occur so soon (and I know when it did transpire)! That one time!

I was also shocked at my reaction. It wasn’t the reaction I ‘expected’. You always hear of people being overjoyed when they find out. I can’t say I was. I was … and still am … shocked.

I broke the news to my husband later in the afternoon. A slight smile popped onto his face, until he saw how shocked I was.

I thought, just to be sure, I’ll go to the Dr to have it confirm. Perhaps the test is wrong. After all, it’s a cheap pregnancy test.

Tuesday, I went to the Dr. The first thing the Dr asked me was ‘do you want to keep it?’ What kind of question is that?!!! No congratulations?!!! He asked me how I found out. I told him I did a pregnancy test. He said wryly, ‘they are normally right’. Nice start.

As he said, the pregnancy test was right. I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

The Dr’s appointment did not progress any better. I asked him if he had any recommendations. ‘No.’

I left the Dr feeling deflated. The shock returned, to the point of tears. I felt alone.